- The old days memories -

Assalamualaikum and Hello everyone.
How're you guys doing so far?

I know Min, AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Today, there's no dbsk related just me, only me and my past.
The story began today at this second when I accidentally read my friend blogs.
It about her life and I kinda get to emotional and BAM! My head make me turn back the time when I'm still a student.

Of course I'm still student now but in different genre when in the past it the high school genre and now maybe I'll go to this form 6 or to college.

I had been this innocent human for these past 5 years.
This innocent here, I;m not talking about I'm a good girl but a VERY-STUPID-IN HER OWN WORLD -GIRL.
I could put that well, don't I.

My past is really dark I may say.
The school things really really really main dark past.
I have this bad relationship with teachers,friends and crap things that happen around me.
Don't get me wrong not bad in that vandalism, gangsterism or what so ever BUT with communication and thought, something like that.

Teachers, you could say they don't understand where my potential can go and they being a damn crap being a pushover with their so call teacher status. So yeah, go die!

Friends, some back-stab each other, I'm not saying I'm good but the back-stabber itself is someone you can't really imagine. She look innocent with those religious side and a quite person but only god knows how truly pain in the ass, she is.

I don't want to make this a wrong idea but making friend hurt with that attitude, I really want to see what kind of friend will be friend with her in the near future.!
Me, hell no. after school end, no more contact with that so call innocent life!

Get lost !! XD

During the college and university applied, I make a really stupid mistake thinking that I have done a good decision.
In this 'Matric' I think they call it in English,
I was a science stream student but science just don't click with me.
I'm more to this businessman lifestyle. So when I applied, I put the course which I have to put is '.science stream-' I change it into -accounting-
Thinking that I'll be selected because the grade for accounting much less to be accepted rather than the science one~~~ but to my other stupidity, the 'Matric' that I applied (the place) doesn't go with the
-accounting- thing ><

How crazy is that?
And now, here I am , with my blank mind .. I don't know where to go and I don't I can get chosen again because of my stupid action.
I just really don't know how things work back then T.T

I told my mother once back in the days:


If I'm not get selected in any of my choices, 
I'll start my own business but mother please patient with me cause I'm really really really really really really really really really really not good in anything I Do.
I'll experience losses but that's what I'll do if there's no chance for me to persuade my study further.
So bear with me because that's what I am and I'll try harder to achieve my goal.


I kinda felt jealous for my friends because they know what they do.
But me, I'm still collecting myself to turn into pieces.
In my life, I was never free like now.

I got this one friend who really I called my best-friend.
She's awesome and always help me when I needed her.
She's mature than me really fast and I thanked her for that.

Me myself, I'll work harder if I'm not going to study.
And of course, my brothers and sister will scold me for being a stupid person who just stuck at home.
Because I knew that I;m not this study kind of person.
Of course it really great to know other people and our mind will be more open but I think my business which I really want to make it happen if I don't study to become true.

So far, my life is chaotic.
I'm afraid to meet new people because I know, meeting them means I have to be strong for another chaotic life of mine.
Some things doesn't go well and that kind of things irritated me the most.
I hate people who controlled people and I hate when people not doing their jobs right.

but mostly,
I don't know what to do and this type of person, will be stupid forever.
I don't want to end up like that so I'll give myself a try and try harder to study and work.

Of course I'll let go of this painful past and so far I learned from it and with that I had made quite impression on myself since I can tolerate, knowing people with their side and yeah the craps goes on.

I'll keep moving forwards where there's so many things that I don't discover yet.

I'll fight until the end.

You can do it, Wani.
Always believe you can do it.

If there's a will, there's a way :))))
I love myself, so I'll try to explore myself more and be positive.
I love you, Wani. ^_____________^

And I want to thank my creator, Allah swt for opening my eyes, my mind and my heart to see, to feel to taste, to dream, to hope for a better life and myself.

To my mother who gave birth to me, thank you for always supporting me.
My father who know that I lack in so many ways but still he keep watching me grow to be one fine woman, that I'll be one day.

I'm still learning to be an independent, someone could be count on and less trouble.

Insya-Allah.